To My Beautiful Wife

Thirty one years ago, August 25th, I was walking down the aisle on the arm of my Dad, to marry the kindest man I have ever met—my husband, Dave. Our anniversary, which was a few days ago, turned out to be one I will never forget. I want to share a card Dave picked out, and signed with x’s and o’s. On the front cover was…To My Beautiful Wife and on the inside it said… Somewhere between all the places we need to be And all the things we need to do Are those special times that belong... 

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Setting yourself free

Have you ever been so mad that your head feels like it is exploding? Or, so terrified, that you can’t breathe and you feel like you are going to pass out? Being human will bring on all sorts of moods and emotions. Fortunately, most of us manage to work through these difficult periods, but at what cost? A serious illness, accident or just plain bad luck? The movie, The Secret, tells us about the Law of Attraction–whatever you focus your attention on, you will get more of... 

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What happens when you hold back your tears?

I have been told my whole life that I am strong. Even if it means holding back the tears while watching my Mom slowly pass away from cancer at age 60, or watching my young children, 3 and 5 years old, cry because they are losing the best Nana they have ever known. The type of Nana who plays on the floor and builds lego with them, or kicks a soccer ball around in the backyard. Or how about when I had to keep my emotions and fears in check, so that I didn’t lose it in Emergency when my 11 month... 

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Surrendering to Dementia

Usually when I sit down to write a post or an article, my head gets in the way. I begin editing and thinking too hard and the words don’t flow easily. I am slowly understanding why it happens–the first step to curing it. It is about  ‘surrendering’ or letting go of the process of writing. I need to stop worrying about what readers will think, and just write. In fact, surrendering is a word which has taken on a whole different meaning since my husband, Dave, was diagnosed... 

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Caregiving for my husband with Frontotemporal Dementia

I have started this post at least 10 times and the words seem to get stuck inside me. They are stuck because my true feelings are just emerging after 2 ½ years of officially knowing my husband, Dave, has Frontotemporal dementia. Life has been a blur since our initial visit to the neurologist. At first, I didn’t believe the doctor. It doesn’t matter that I have been seeing the signs—daily headaches, changing personality, not recognizing friends etc.— for at least 5 years, or that the CT... 

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How does my husband feel about having dementia?

In my earlier posts, I told you about my husband, Dave, 59, who has Frontotemporal dementia (FTD). I am trying to understand what it is must be like for Dave, waking up in the morning knowing he has dementia–with no known cure or drugs slowing it down.  Does he feel angry, sad or confused? Does he have the insight to realize he is changing? Is he afraid of his future? Since FTD affects the language area, our conversations are becoming shorter and simpler. I am making notes while Dave... 

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