Thank you so much for being proactive in your situation with your husband. One of the key lessons as a mother, wife and physical therapist is that doctors are human and make mistakes. Families KNOW when there is something wrong that doesn’t fit with their diagnosis.
My husband starting showing signs in his late 40s and I kept excusing the red flags with the stress of his teaching job and the aging process. In hindsight there is nothing that could have been done except to let us know what we will be dealing with over the next decade or so.
FTD isn’t easy to diagnose in the early stages although the description of your husband’s behavior is very suspicious of this disorder. Each person expresses it differently with some common features: decreased insight, judgment, empathy and changes in social behavior. Some people become more violent while others become mute.
Lucy please follow your heart and your gut instinct. No one cares more for your husband than you. This journey will unfold but it needs your firm guidance. It is a mysterious road that we are on and it doesn’t have to be travelled alone.
Please stay in touch and let me know if I can be of further help.

Kindly
Holly xo

I’m sorry that you are going through so much pain. I certainly can relate to the loneliness of ‘losing’ your partner.

Sending you prayers for your health and your wife’s.

Warmly,
Holly

Raj here, my wife is a wonderful person in earth that i know so far. No one can replace her in my heart and i really appreciated whatever she have done for me so far. However after she fall sick everthing has changed. I never never blame her for all this because i know how wonderful she is. I always belive the medication and the chemical reaction gives all this impact. The only thing i can tell is that i really really love her so much. Every second I keep on thinking about her and waiting with open arm.

I’m new here. My wife have been diagonesed with POlymyositis since March 2010. She is under Prednisolone(steroid) till todate. SInce she then she become very aggressive,ilogical,angry and passing lot of wrong information. Our relationship turn sour and she left me but I really love her so much. I’m still waiting patiently even its already 14 mths.

Warmly,
Holly

The work you are doing is inspiring.

All the best, Paul

Thank you so much for reaching out for assistance. I am sorry to hear that your husband is verbally mean and unfortunately, it is common in FTD. The frontal lobes control our emotions and when it deteriorates, anger and aggression often show up. They aren’t able to manage, or monitor their emotional responses.

The brain is so complex and the scientists know less than 15% about how it operates. I have discovered there are 6 subtypes for FTD and within those subtypes, there is a variance in symptoms and progression. Even though there isn’t a cure or way to slow down FTD, there are drugs which can help to minimize your husband’s anger. His lack of personal hygienne is similar to my husband’s. If it was up to Dave, I am not sure if he would ever shower or change his clothes. Since he doesn’t have the aggression, he will do as I ask (most of the time) and take a shower and shave. Lack of social contact often comes from their inability to keep up with conversations (they lose the understanding of the meaning of the words), their inability to remember faces and they are often ashamed of their condition. Each person is different.

Beth, I want you to remember what they tell you in a plane emergency. If you are sitting beside a child or ‘challenged’ person, you have to put on your oxygen mask before you can help them. This is critical that you find the support to take breaks, and to stay healthy (physically, mentally & emotionally) for yourself (#1), your husband, and your boys. Have you gone to the FTD support forum (http://www.ftdsupportforum.com )? Click the ‘register now’ and you will find other caregivers dealing with similar issues. They will also be able to help you out. I know 2 other women in their 40s whose husbands have FTD and one of them (Susan) is on the site often.

I am not sure where you live but I would be happy to speak with you on the phone. If you are interested why don’t you send me your phone number to my email address: hollyeburne@gmail.com. We could talk about strategies that are working for both Dave and me. I am leaving for a business course tomorrow morning and will be gone for 8 days but I will call you as soon as I come home. I will have my computer with me so I will correspond until then.

Thank you again for reaching out. There IS help and we will find it for you. You aren’t alone.

Warmly,
Holly

Thank you so much for your support. I am really grateful that you and Cliff live across from us. You have no idea how secure I feel knowing that you care and are there for us. Cliff has been a godsend. I had no idea how much Dave did around here until this past year. Wow–this journey is definitely a ‘growing’ one!

Thank you again to both of you,

Love
Holly