Another Glimpse into our Life with Dementia

I was watching Jerry & Esther Hicks’ DVD, Let Loose, and something they said hit home…”when you engage in what is fun within you, life is funner”.  It is amazing how children do this naturally.

For the past 2 days I haven’t been feeling well—the common cold. When I am not well, I tend to look at life from the bottom half of the glass. Despite my husband having frontotemporal dementia, I appreciate  lessons about patience, flexibility and surrendering to what life is giving me, but there are moments when I am tired of them.

Yesterday I was miserable and it wasn’t until a call from a girlfriend that I snapped out of it. During our chat she asked how Dave was doing and I was telling her some of the funny things he says. (Frontotemporal dementia affects language skills) We were laughing when I was giving her a sample of Dave’s new language. When he was trying to think of the word ‘Halloween’, he called it a “social where people go from room to room.” Last week I asked Dave for a weather report and…”it is going to be mostly sunny, with lots of clouds”.  After a trip to the store, Dave was describing the ‘lady at the toll booth’ (cashier). He went hiking on a new trail with the dogs and saw lots of  ‘helmuts’ (cows’ skulls). Another funny habit of Dave’s is when he announces that he has to go to the bathroom. It reminds me of when our kids were small. Since he forgets to flush the toilet, I scurry around when guests arrive to make sure the coast is clear. My girlfriend, a mother of 2 young children, says she does the same thing.

Dave is doing well with his dementia and loves to have variety to his days. This morning he is excited about a 4 day camping/hunting trip with his best friend, Doug. Our son, Kyle, spent yesterday afternoon packing all of his Dad’s gear. The only thing he left for Dave to do was to pack a change of clothing. (Kyle hasn’t figured out that changing clothes is not a priority) As Dave was getting ready to leave, I noticed he was wearing the same shirt and pants for the third day. I told him he needed to change because it would be 7 days wearing the same outfit. He said it didn’t matter because they would be getting dirty anyway. With the smile of a child, he proudly points to the picture of the moose on his shirt and says “Doug gave it to me and we are getting a moose on our trip.”

There is an innocence to Dave which is reminding me that life can be fun regardless of the situation. After he left for his trip I turned to my son and said…”sometimes I think Dad’s life is easier and simpler than mine” Without pausing he said…”not sometimes, Mom–all of the time.”