Another Insight into the Challenges of Dave’s Dementia

As I was driving home today, I was feeling sad because this is the last ride of the season in my Smart car. I would love to drive it year round, but we have a steep driveway with 2 switchbacks, and my little car is too light to make it to the top (even with his snow boots on). Usually I am not attached to material possessions but for some reason, I feel happy whenever I am inside of Raphael (my car). I especially love to watch my husband, (6’4” 230 lbs.) drive away in it. It looks like he is sitting in the back seat, but he has more room than in our other car.

So why am I feeling sad today? Because I had a small taste of what Dave must be going through as he gets closer to the date when his driver’s license will be taken away. My situation is temporary. Dave’s is permanent. I will wake up tomorrow and exchange one set of keys for another. I will still have my freedom to come and go as I please. Not Dave. He loves driving more than I do and this is the first time since he was diagnosed 3 years ago with Frontotemporal dementia that he is kicking and screaming. I get it now.

Dave is losing his ability to reason and has poorer judgment, so it is no longer safe for him to be driving. Unfortunately, he is the only one who doesn’t understand it. It doesn’t matter how much I reassure him that he will still be going to his woodcarving meetings and to the gym with his friend, Doug—this is little consolation. He is feeling pretty crushed these days and even wondered if he would still be allowed to ride his bike on the road.

The next few months are going to be challenging for both of us (nearest bus stop is 8 km. away) We have managed to weather the past 3 years in good shape and I expect we will continue growing and adapting as more bumps come our way.