Living with Dementia: Enjoying the Present Moment

I just came back from a run with my husband, Dave. It is an absolutely gorgeous fall morning–sun is shining, with wispy clouds and a feel of coolness in the air. Perfect for running. As we are heading towards the sun, I look up to see many layers and shapes of clouds, on a backdrop of the deep blue sky. What is interesting, and particularly beautiful, are the colours around the sun–shades of mint green and fuchsia-almost like a rainbow but without the rain. I mention it to Dave, who isn’t wearing sunglasses, and he can’t see anything but the blinding sunshine. When I comment about the gorgeous sky, he quickly points out the dark clouds in the distant. Hmmm…..I guess he’s right. When I take off my rose-coloured sunglasses there isn’t any mint and fuchsia colours around the sun and I have to admit there are dark clouds in the east. All of this is true for Dave. But for me, the truth is…the sun is shining, I am enjoying the feel of the crisp air and I am happy to be running with my husband. I also know that if I focus on the dark clouds and the chance that it might rain, then I will miss these magical moments.

According to several studies, 91-97% of what we worry about never comes to fruition. You can bet I have tested this theory many times and it has held true for me. I am learning to spend less energy worrying about something that ‘might’, but usually doesn’t, happen. For example, if Dave was late coming home from shopping, I would worry that he had a seizure while driving–that was before his license was taken away due to the complications of his frontotemporal dementia. When he arrived home safely, I would remind myself of the wasted energy, not to mention the negative impact on my health.

There are times when I get scared looking down the road at the dark clouds of our future (with dementia), but I have to remind myself that we aren’t there yet. Right now Dave is still physically able to do many things and I am going to keep treasuring the moments…just like our run this morning.