Running is my Saving Grace for Living with Dementia
July 12, 2009 by Holly
Since my husband, Dave, 59, was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia 2 years ago, our lives have changed dramatically. I never imagined that my life would become this rich, and that I wouldn’t change my life now, for the one I had before Dave’s diagnosis. It surprises me how this latest challenge, and the pain of gradually losing my husband of 31 years, is transforming my life.
This morning, I laced up my running shoes and headed out the front door, going for my ‘usual’ Sunday morning run, along our country road. But, it turned out to be not usual. I immediately felt a sense of gratitude and joy for being physically able to run. Four and a half years ago, an orthopedic surgeon told me that my running days were over, because I had suffered traumatic leg and ankle injuries, after falling downstairs. Typically, I was in a hurry, carrying a load of laundry,without bothering to turn the light on. The shortened version of what happened, was that 36 hours later, I was having surgery to repair 4 fractures and a dislocated ankle. On my follow-up visits to the doctor, he told me to hang up my running shoes because at my age (51), my ankle would be too stiff and unstable for running. Little did he know about the powers of positive thinking, and great rehab!
As I headed down our winding, gravel driveway, I watched Dave head off for his bike ride-grateful that he is still physically and mentally able, to ride. I was also glad that he decided to let me run on my own. Lately, I’ve had more need to spend time by myself , to calm the fears, and the chatter in my brain. When I was a teenager, I used running as a way to help me deal with the stresses of high school and it has continued to be my ‘saving grace’ through many difficult times in my life.
At the bottom of our driveway, a couple of young Western Kingbirds, flew about 3 feet above my head, saying hello, while goldfinches were singing sweetly in the Saskatoon bushes, and feasting on the berries. The sun was warm, despite it being early in the morning, and the sky was clear blue, with the moon still visible. As I ran along, I was searching out, and stepping on tiny tussock moth caterpillars; they are destroying our forests of fir trees. Just after squishing one, I looked up in time to see a white tail deer, heading down to the creek for a drink. There were giant Ponderosa pine trees shading much of my run and I could hear the various songbirds, tweeting and twittering, in the bushes lining the creek. Butterflies, of all colors and sizes, gently fluttered around me, while I watched the horses in the fields swishing their tails to keep the flies off. At the cattle guard, which was my turn-around point, I noticed some baby bear droppings, grateful that he and his mom haven’t discovered our 20-odd bird feeders, surrounding our house and pond.
Sweat was starting to trickle down my back, and I could feel my thigh muscles getting a good workout, as I became ‘conscious’ of an incredible sense of peace and calmness. I am not going to deny that life isn’t challenging, and difficult many of the times, but how Dave and I are choosing to live with them, has brought unexpected, and welcomed joy into my life.
Nina on Wed, 15th Jul 2009 2:06 pm
Holly,
Beautifully written. I had told you earlier that my aunt has FTD. My uncle and I were discussing how little is being done about this form of dementia. It seems by your spelling that you may be from where they speak the “King’s English”. We are in the States.
My uncle has spent a good deal of time checking to see what research is being done specifically for FTD. We would like to have an email correspondence with you as a sort of support group when we find good research doctors or drug trials. Please contact me at the email address I have listed, f you are interested. If you don’t have the time, we certainly understand.
Also your information about the dementia in the frontal lobe and how it effects your husband has helped me in dealing with my father-in-law who has alcohol induced liver cirrhosis. I believe alcohol abuse affects that part of the brain. I can see that indifference to his personal appearance in him also. It is so frustrating.
Keep up the writing.
Nina
hollyeburne on Wed, 15th Jul 2009 6:12 pm
Hi Nina,
Okay…what word gave me away? I am from Canada, so not far from your place.
I was very pleased to hear from you again and I will definitely correspond with you via email. You might find Dr. Daniel Amen’s books, ‘Making a Good Brain Great’ and ‘Change Your Brain Change Your Life’ really helpful in understanding both your aunt’s and your father-in-laws situation. I found it really helpful to learn about the function of different parts of the brain-it has given me more patience with my husband’s dementia, and his peculiar behaviours. (oops, I gave it away-behaviours, instead of behaviors).
Will chat with you soon,
Holly