The Tipping Point–the moment I knew that I couldn’t ignore the signs of dementia

I was sitting in our den this morning thinking about the warning signs or red flags that told me something was wrong with Dave’s brain.

The very first sign happened about 6 years ago with Tabasco sauce. I wanted Dave to pick up some Tabasco sauce at the grocery store and he looked at me like he had never heard of it. Even describing the little bottle-with the red cap and hot, spicy flavor used in our favourite chicken wing recipe, didn’t fire any memories.  I quickly let it go, and said I would pick it up later. The next time, a little ‘inside’ voice told me that something wasn’t right happened a year later when Dave couldn’t find a street, which was  only a block away from our old neighbourhood, where we lived for 10 years. 

Without realizing that my subconscious already knew what was going on, I was buying Sudoku puzzles, Nintendo DS Brain Age games-one for Dave and one for me, stacking my library with brain books by Dr. Amen, Dr. Doidge and others. I was limiting our TV watching-especially the news and violent shows-setting aside daily reading times, exercising on a regular basis, changing our diet to include omega-3 rich foods, such as wild salmon, avocados and consuming gingko supplements. The list goes on, but I don’t want to bore you. I was doing this for at least 3 years before Dave was officially diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia. .

Even though Dave was complaining of daily headaches, sleeping 11 hours/night, plus a 1-2 hour nap on his days off, experiencing moderate seizures (once a year), and not recognizing people he has worked with for 25 years, I was blaming everything on the stress of his job as a high school teacher. I believed that once he retired, the original Dave who I married 31 years ago would come back.

 The moment  I knew that I had to seek medical help-all of the brain food, nutritionals and exercises weren’t enough-was in November, 2006 while watching a Sunday afternoon football game. I was playing with our new puppy, Emma, on the floor when I heard this eerie sound. It was similar to someone who has suffered a stroke-a guttural sound. When I looked over at Dave, his face was red and wincing with tears. I asked him what was wrong. He pointed to the TV and said…”I have never seen those sparkly lights in the air before”. Those sparkly lights were fireworks.

 So that was my ‘tipping’ point, when all of the red flags of the past several years finally hit me in the face. If you are questioning whether someone in your family has Alzheimer’s or any of the associated dementias, you will know. There are subtle signs or feelings telling you, although you can’t put your finger on it; they will start as small ones that are out of character. The next step is knowing what to do about it; speaking with your family doctor may be a reasonable starting point.