Some of the reasons why Dave is doing well…
September 19, 2009 by Holly
It is almost 3 years since the doctor told us that Dave, my husband, has Frontotemporal Dementia. Almost every day I meet someone who asks how Dave is doing. Besides the fact he is 6’4″ and you can’t miss him in a grocery story, he is well known in our city. He was a high school teacher for 25 years, talented duck carver and master volunteer with ski patroling, search & rescue, rugby refereeing and coaching. Until a few days ago, I paused before I answered their question. There are subtle changes happening on a regular basis. But when I look at the bigger picture and read the stories on the FTD support forum (people being diagnosed after Dave and passing away), I would say he is doing very well. Why? I have my theories or beliefs and these are some of them…
#1. Dave’s attitude: He accepts his condition without anger or shame. He has done this from the moment the doctor gave us the news. He doesn’t waste his energy on resisting what life is giving him. He told me about 3 weeks after his diagnosis…”I may not be able to do much about my brain dying, but I am going to do everything I can to keep my body healthy.”
#2. Daily exercise, nutritionals (gingko and omega 3) and pretty good nutrition (likes his sugar which is the main source of fuel for the brain). Every day Dave hikes with our dogs in the woods, rides his bike, runs with me or goes to the gym with his best friend, Doug. Exercise increases blood flow to the brain and releases endorphins, which makes him feel better.
#3. Dave has a reason for getting up in the morning. He volunteers as a Nordic walking leader, woodworking shows, and has chores he is responsible for around the house. One day I needed him to wash my car because I was busy. Just after dinner I asked him how his day was and he said it was great! “Oh why is that?” Dave answered with…”because I got to wash your car.” Little things I take for granted, but it is big for Dave. We all need to feel like we make a difference in this world, regardless of physical or mental abilities.
#4. Dave loves to socialize; communication requires lots of brain activity. He isn’t ashamed or embarrassed when he doesn’t remember someone or can’t find the words in a conversation.
#5. Dave loves variety to his days: walks in different areas, likes to have company over for dinner, loves to travel. Variety stimulates the ‘plasticity’ switch in the brain which wakes up the brain cells. Even brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand will activate this center.
As I am writing this post, I realize that I am not finished with my list but I don’t want it to become an English essay. So I will stop here and next week I will continue with my beliefs of why Dave is doing as well as he is. Please feel free to ask any questions about the reasons I have given you so far. Just remember, there is more to come.
deedee on Sun, 20th Sep 2009 7:41 pm
I think he sounds in wonderful shape relative to my mother. I can say that people remark about how good Mom looks all the time, and I think it has to do with her own want/willingness to take Fish Oil capsules and a Centrum vitamin every day since (and before) she was diagnosed. She forgets other things, but never that. Unfortunately she doesn’t get the amount of social interaction your husband is getting, thanks to you (and his great attitude to boot) and his best friend who goes to the gym with him. I know that when Mom’s best pal at the assisted living home had to move to the dementia unit across the street, Mom started to noticeably decline and get a little depressed. Just some notes I wanted to add. Sorry if I sounded like an essay. I can be too scientific sometimes, but that is how I deal with what is happening to Mom. I like to read your advice and will try to make some changes with Mom as she is declining more, it seems.
Holly on Sun, 20th Sep 2009 9:16 pm
Hi DeeDee,
I am not surprised when you told me about your Mom’s decline after her good friend was transferred. Has she met someone else or is there another person who your Mom relates well to?
I am glad that you are able to use some of my information for your Mom. I was a bit shy at first but then I said to myself…what the heck, this is truth for me (how can a scientist argue with it) and for many reasons, Dave is managing to hold his own. So…I wanted to share my thoughts. I will be posting more next week.
Hope you are doing okay,
Warmly
Holly