1)  Nutrition and fluids

- the mainstay of your diet should be fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts and cereals.  Nuts, tofu, lentils and pulses are also excellent sources of protein.  Choose low fat animal sources of protein – poultry, fish and lean meats.  Bison is an excellent choice.  Choose organic sources wherever possible.  Keep junk food to a minimum – they are largely derived from non-living ingredients and are full of additives, many of them toxic, and excess salt.

Specific dietary recommendations for brain health are the following -

avoid saturated fats in your diet

include foods rich in omega 3 fatty acids – raw walnuts and seeds such as pumpkin, hemp and flax, fish

maintain stable blood sugar levels by avoiding refined sugars in baked goods and processed foods but instead choose whole grain breads, muffins, pastas along with fruits, vegetables, lean protein at each meal.

Vitamin D3, the B vitamins and tryptophan (an amino acid found in meats, dairy products and beans) contribute to mood stability and healthy nerve function.

In the summer months, it is especially important to keep hydrated.  Symptoms of dehydration include  thirst, lack of energy, lack of concentration, sluggish reflexes, difficulty making decisions, less alertness, headache, irritability.  Feeling hungry between meals may be a symptom, so rather than taking a snack, drink first.

Average water requirements – 2 litres or 8 glasses a day for an adult, and add 1 or 2 litres if out in the sun and active.

Do not rely on cold alcohol drinks for hydration.  A cool beer may be refreshing but it acts as a diuretic which has the opposite of affect – more fluid loss and dehydration.

2)  Rest -

Your sleep is important for your overall health and brain function.  Do whatever it takes to maintain adequate hours and quality of sleep.  Take action to clear anything that may be interfering with your sleep – physical factors such as pain, excessive noise or temperature;  emotional factors such as stress and worries.

Remember you can make up for short summer nights of sleep with cat naps during the day.  Relaxing fully, even though you don’t sleep, is also restorative.  Relaxing on the beach or poolside for example.

3)  Meditate -

Meditation is an excellent ‘de-stressor’.  It acts to release the pressure of conscious and unconscious thoughts that contribute to tension at all levels of our being – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.  The benefits of meditation are numerous – more energy, clarity of thinking, more calmness, less irritabililty, more effective decision making and productivity, being more present, improved sleep.

There are many forms and techniques of meditation.  One of the simplest is to get quiet and follow your breath in and out, notice your thoughts and let them go, without any effort, just bringing your attention back to an awareness of your breath.  You may like to select a word – such as Peace, Calmness, Love or Om as a focal point.  Five to ten minutes twice a day can get you started and to begin to experience benefits.

I use several simple processes that I share with my patients that act similarly to meditation to release the burden of toxic thoughts and feelings.  Ho’oponopono is an example that I wrote of in my June 30th newsletter.

4) Be creative -

One of the best and most fundamental ways to keep your brain in top functioning health is to give it something new to process.  Learn to speak a new language; take a course in something you know nothing about; take up a hobby.  When you do new learning, the brain develops new pathways and neuronal connections that are revitalizing – its own an internal workout.

Remain curious and keep learning and your brain will keep working longer and help you stay young and fit mentally and emotionally.

5) Keep physically active -

More and more studies are showing that keeping physically active is not just good for your body but for your brain as well.  One of the best activities for the brain health is dancing, especially learning a new dance or any physical skill as you get the benefit of learning as well.

6) Have fun and laugh with others -

Connecting socially with friends, family, and co-workers and having fun and laughing are all stimulating for the brain and highly effective in releasing stress.  Somewhere I heard a good belly laugh is ‘internal jogging’.  Taking yourself less seriously and bringing lightness, ease and laughter into your life is ‘the true fountain of youth’.

A summer holiday is a great time to kick back, relax, socialize, play, or get still and take a brake from all your usual mind chatter.  See if you can’t bring a degree of fun, playfulness, and joy with you when you go back to work and ‘Life’.

Dr. Nelie Johnson is a family physician and facilitator for healing – inspiring and guiding people to tap into their own healing potential.  She is a contributing author to a bestselling book and provides seminars, workshops, and private consultations.

Visit www.awarenessheals.ca for more information.

So how does Gus and his ball relate to my life as a carer of my husband, Dave–diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago with Frontotemporal dementia? For the first 2 years I believed that I was showing weakness if I asked for help, or cried over slowly losing the husband I married 32 years ago. I kept myself so busy that I wouldn’t have to feel the deep pain. But last year I hit the wall. I was standing in the kitchen making dinner and resenting that I had to cook every night while Dave sat in the den–watching TV and working on his jigsaw puzzle. I felt like a bird trapped in a cage with the door tightly shut. I was juggling work, volunteering, taking care of Dave, the animals and our house. On top of this, we were starting over financially because our retirement savings had collapsed in high risk ventures. I felt very lonely because I couldn’t share my worries with anyone, including Dave.

There was a moment when I was chopping vegetables and I wanted to throw the knife down and walk away. I wanted someone else to do my job because I was tired of it. I didn’t want it any more. I stood there with my head down and taking a few breaths. In an instant I had clarity or an ‘awakening’.  I knew I wanted to stay with Dave and therefore I had a choice… I could continue hanging on to my ‘poor me, life isn’t fair’ belief (story) or I could release it. If I wanted to change my life, I needed to let go of my grimy attitude–which wasn’t serving me any more–and do something different. I didn’t know ‘what’ or ‘how’ but I had faith and belief that life was going to get better. Martin Luther King said “faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase”. I took my first step by writing in a journal 5 things I am grateful for. I started getting up earlier and spending quiet time with our kitty cat, reading and meditating to clear some of my brain chatter. Every day I ran, walked or biked for my daily dose of endorphins…the ‘feel-good’ chemicals released in the brain.  Slowly but surely, the door to my cage starting opening up.  I was accepting help from neighbours without feeling like I have to give something in return. I went out for lunch with girlfriends and gave myself permission to cry without feeling weak because sometimes the load feels too heavy. I am happy and love my life, regardless of my circumstances. It took me 2 years but I finally figured out that I can’t control anything on the outside–including Dave’s dementia and the behaviours that go along with it.  The only thing I can control are my thoughts and therefore my beliefs.

Last year I hit a major turning point in my life of living with a husband with dementia. My plate was full with running 3 part-time businesses, volunteering, cooking, cleaning, shopping and…taking care of Dave and me (sometimes our 2 grown children) I had to find a way to balance everything. I took a course from Darius Barazandeh this past winter and he said that if you want to live in a ‘state of grace’ or in a calm, peaceful state, then you need to have order in your lives. What a difference it has made in my life. The more systems I create and develop, the easier life is becoming. For example, I have many service people in my life–car mechanic, furnace guy, appliance fixer-upper, plumber, electrician, septic pumper-outer, cleaning lady, painters, garage door fixers, dentists,doctors, accountant and the list goes on for pages. To keep track of them I have a plastic accordion file case with 13 slots. Each one is labeled with plumber, electrician, mechanic and so on. On a 3 x 5 index card I put the name of the company, phone number and the name of the person I am dealing with, along with the details of what they did and the receipts. Another system I have is for making a shopping list. There is a sticky note beside the fridge with a pencil attached (pens don’t write well on vertical surfaces) and when I remember what I need on the grocery list I put it down. Then I take the note with me when it is shopping day. This saves time writing out a list and also saves time by going once a week because I don’t forget anything. Another idea is using a flip video (a small video camera that easily transfers to a computer) for recording details. The other day when Tony, a tile specialist, was fixing our retaining walls, I used the video to record the steps for preparing the surface, putting the tiles on and finally the grouting. He ran out of time and didn’t finish the grouting so I am going to do it. There are more loose tiles and it looks like it going to be a recurring issue. Anyway, I have already bought the tools and cement and will be testing my ’tiling’ skills early next week. I am looking forward to the challenge and besides, it is great for the brain to learn a new activity and …I save some money. I know there are times when my time is more valuable but I want to try it out. I will let you know how it turns out.

If there is a part of your life that seems overwhelming or confusing, work out a plan or system for it. You will notice how much easier it is when you have to contact the plumber if your hot water tank bursts or the electrician when a panel of fuses burn out. I hope this post will start the wheels in motion for you to find creative ways to live an easier life regardless of the curve balls that living with dementia throws your way.

Living with dementia continually tests my ability to let go of fear. It challenges me to let go of worries such as: will I be able to afford Dave’s care in the later stages; will I be able to handle the increasing responsibilities; or will it take a toll on my physical and mental health. It challenges me to stay present and live for today, so that I can enjoy what I have right now.

Every time I face a fearful situation, it is a chance to ‘rewire’ my brain to respond differently. These tests are not always about living with dementia. I had a situation this past winter with our dog and a pack of coyotes…

It is 8:15 pm (pitch-black outside) and I am taking our Springer spaniels out for their nightly pee. They are hunting dogs with an acute sense of smell. Our youngest dog, Emma, catches the scent of a coyote and charges after it. I scream and whistle–pretty feeble whistler, but somehow I manage. By the time she comes back, my legs are jelly and my heart rate is over 200. Within seconds of coming inside the house, I hear a pack of coyotes yipping from the same spot where Emma had chased it.

Their game is to lure prey into their circle for an easy attack. My mind is racing because I keep thinking about what ‘almost’ happened, and what ‘could’ have happened. It takes me a few minutes and several deep breaths to calm down enough to realize that everything is fine. Emma is alive, and safe inside our house. Byron Katie’s message is playing loudly inside my head…fear is only what I think. When I really listen to my inner voice, I feel relief as I am letting go of the ‘emotions’ attached to my story.

Living with dementia is a much larger story than the dog-coyote one, but the lesson is the same. When I feel sick to my stomach because I have flashes of what the ‘end’ stage of this disease looks like, I bring myself back to the present moment. Right now, Dave is healthy and relatively independent. He is able to dress and take care of his personal care (with reminders to change clothes and have a shower every few days); he is able to work on his jigsaw puzzles; and he can still communicate, although his conversations are simpler.

There may not be hope for a cure for Dave’s dementia, but there is hope for a quality of life–we are living it. In many ways I am grateful to dementia and the challenges it presents because it is forcing me to let go of what I can’t control, and to let go of fear which is…”a story of a future, projected from our past.”

There is no denying there are difficult times, or that there are moments when I don’t think I can handle one more change, one more responsibility. But I am finding it easier to move through those periods simply by changing my perspective. When I get frustrated because I have to remind Dave 5 times to dig out a small dead bush, or when he says he has cleaned the pond filter only to find out it is clogged with algae, I stop for a few seconds and ask…’would I want to change my life for Dave’s? Would I want to be the one waking up with headaches? The one not recognizing people I have known all my life, or the one walking 2 hours to the nearest bus stop because my driver’s license has been taken away? There is no contest. I wouldn’t want to be living with his challenges for a second. I love being able to work, chat with friends without struggling to find the words, and being free to drive away from home.

A week ago we were driving to Vancouver, BC for the 10 km. Sun Run when Dave looked at me and said “I am really enjoying this trip. Thank you for taking me”. His eyes and face sparkled, and he sounded like an excited child on an adventure. It made me stop and think about what life looks like from his perspective. He reminds me of the simpler things in life—to be grateful for what we have in this moment, instead of wishing it was different or thinking…what if he didn’t have dementia.

Last year I reached a summit on this journey with dementia when I wanted this phase of my life to be over. I wanted to get back to living a ‘normal’ life for someone in their 50s. But then I stepped back and started thinking about something other than my hardships. I started seeing how Dave is managing; how he is accepting, rather than resisting, his life; how he is living every day to the best of his abilities. I became aware of how other people are  living with their challenges. When I opened my eyes and heart, it didn’t take long to find other people dealing with situations far worse than mine. I no longer live and wish for the future because this is wishing my life away. I would miss learning lessons such as surrendering or ‘letting go’ of things I can’t control and I wouldn’t be experiencing the true meaning of unconditional love.

While flying home from Detroit today, I sat beside an 80-something gentleman who said “attitude is everything”. He went on to tell me about a David and Goliath story. An Israeli looked at the Goliath and said “he is so big, how can we ever kill him?” David looked at the giant and said “he is so big, how can we miss?”

Perspective, positive attitude or whatever you call it, can turn any situation around in seconds. For me, it has been ‘key’ in finding  peace and ease  in the world of dementia.

©2010 Holly Eburne

It took 2 years to realize that dementia is out of my control. The only thing I can control is how I am living with it. I have a choice. I can continue being sad and angry that life is turning out differently than I expected, or I can learn to accept and love life as it is.

Last week I went to a business course by Fabienne Fredrickson and she spoke about the Panic Point— better known as the ‘breakdown before the breakthrough’. These are periods in life when it feels like everything is going wrong–like you can’t handle one more thing. It may begin with a bad cold, eye infections, frequent arguing, blaming others irrationally for what is happening, or maybe technology breaking down around you.

This week happens to be one of my Panic Point phases. The tipping point came when our washing machine decided to quit in the middle of the rinse cycle. The buzzer on the machine is ringing, telling me that the intake valve is blocked. What is this all about? I pull out the manual which shows me how to flush the valves, scoop out the debris blocking the propeller, and clean out the filters. All I want to do is to sit on the floor and cry. I am begging for someone to PLEASE take over my job as caretaker of this house.

After my initial hissy fit, I realize I have a choice (once again). Either work through this problem rationally, or run away in anger and frustration. I choose persistence. I follow what the manual tells me to do and I am feeling pretty good about my troubleshooting abilities. But it is short-lived. After putting everything back together, not only doesn’t the machine work, but I can’t open the door to retrieve the wet clothes inside. Oh boy! I have had enough. I cry some more, feeling very sorry for myself and really fed up with these tests from the universe.

Then in a split second, I think of Dave. He is upstairs eating his toast, watching the weather reports and working on his jigsaw puzzle. What a simple life he seems to be leading. Would I change my situation and my brain for his? No. Does he complain about his headaches and his progressive physical/mental challenges? No. This instantly turns my attitude around. I know that if Dave could help me, he would. He used to be a handy man of the house and never complained when he had to fix a stove, a furnace or many of the other electrical/plumbing issues. I am discovering how much he actually did around the house-much more than I gave him credit for.

By the time I come upstairs, my pity party is over but I am still feeling heaviness inside. So I do what I have done for years to relieve my stress…I walk outside, surrounded by nature, and just keep moving. I walk until I feel lighter; until the tight band around my neck and shoulders loosens. After a while I begin noticing the bright green color of the spring leaves on the dogwood bushes lining the creek. I see and hear the small warblers singing and playing tag in the dense underbrush. It is amazing how quickly I feel grateful to be alive, and grateful for the reminders that these panic points are temporary.

Life isn’t easy, and neither is living with dementia. Every time I succeed in pushing through these panic barriers, there is more appreciation for the peacefulness and power I feel afterwards. It also reminds me how each experience builds on the previous ones which is preparing me to handle whatever the future holds for Dave and me.

© 2010 Holly Eburne

Three years ago when Dave was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia (FTD), the specialist told me that it was up to me to decide when he wasn’t safe enough to drive our grandchildren (if we had them). I kept pushing that responsibility away because it felt too heavy. I was already adjusting to the increasing load of being a carer for my husband, without taking on this decision as well. But last fall I reached a point of clarity and realized that I had to get my head out of the sand. Dave was a danger on the road. He spent more time searching for wildlife in the fields and pointing out full moons (on blind corners) than the cars on the road.

For most people, driving is their ticket to freedom. I fully ‘get’ that. Dave loves to drive, and honestly, it was my ticket to freedom as well. It gave me time to be alone, while it gave Dave a sense of purpose and contribution as he did errands for me every day. Having a reason for getting up in the morning is what keeps us happy and healthy. This is one of the reasons why retired people who volunteer stay healthy—physically, mentally & emotionally.

When Dave lost his license, it has been more difficult than I imagined. Despite the inconveniences (9 km. from the nearest bus stop and added chores to my list), I understand why he shouldn’t be driving, but Dave can’t. One of the features of FTD is poor insight and reasoning abilities–frontal lobe. Although Dave has an amazing attitude towards accepting his condition, he is stuck in this area of driving. He feels cheated that he wasn’t given a proper test and that he walked into the doctor’s office with a license and walked out without it. There are 2 places in our province where he can appeal the doctor’s decision, but I am not willing to drive him or spend the money because I know he is not safe to be on the road. I would like to see a test which is easy to administer locally, affordable, and accurately tests their abilities. A test where the person with dementia has a sense (if that is possible) why he shouldn’t be on the road.

So my question is…how can we handle this issue with more ease? There is money going into researching the causes and treatments for dementia but what about the day to day reality of living with it? Where are the systems to help us deal with a problem which seems to be at, or near the top, of stresses for both the person with dementia and their family?  I would love to have a driver twice a week to take Dave where he wants to go, and to run some of my errands. He wouldn’t feel ‘trapped’ and I wouldn’t feel like I am bailing water out of a boat which keeps filling up. If you have suggestions or creative solutions I would love to hear from you:  hollyeburne@gmail.com.

© 2010 Holly Eburne

Dave at age 57 was officially diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia. His attitude is amazing. When I ask him if he gets frustrated that his hand shakes making it difficult for him to carve–his passion for 35 years–or that he doesn’t recognize people, or that he has daily headaches, he says “Yes”.  Are you angry? “No”  “I know it is my problem and I can’t blame anyone for this. I have to figure it out”. Wow. FTD affects insight and I love it when I hear flashes of it from Dave.

I watch and learn from Dave every day. I am curious what it must be like to live with dementia and his continual challenges so I did a video of Dave last week while we were snowshoeing. If you want to hear some of his thoughts please click on this video: ”http://www.youtube.com/v/m0VOv_ZV-Xc&hl=en_US&fs=1&”></param><param

Earlier this week I was contacted by a young woman, JD Scaggs, whose dad, Dave Scaggs, has frontotemporal dementia. Dave was a high school teacher/coach and well respected in his community of Sandy Spring, Maryland.  JD and her sisters want to honor and help their Dad so they have organized an event…

WHAT: Scoot for Scooter 5 km. fun run/ 1 mile walk

WHERE: Sherwood High School, Sandy Point, Maryland

WHEN: May 16, 2010 at 10 am (rain or shine)

WHY: raise awareness and research money for Frontotemporal dementia

For more information please go to www.Scoot4Scooter.com . If you don’t live in the area, you can still donate online, or help to spread the word.

It is beautiful to see what these young people (who are going through painful times) are doing to help future families who will be affected by this progressive and terminal illness.

There is no denying that his sweet tooth has come alive with his dementia, but he shows remarkable discipline. After lunch and dinner he loves to eat 2 Dad’s chocolate chip cookies. Not 3 cookies–even if there are 3 left in the bag. I am sure I would not leave a lonely cookie in the bag when I can’t even leave frozen carrot cake alone. Anyway, 2 days ago we ran out of cookies and I wondered how he would manage until I went shopping. I think I have my answer…

Earlier this evening Dave came up the stairs with a mouth full of food. This  isn’t a big deal except our kitchen is on the main floor and I was curious about a stash of food he might have downstairs. Before I could stop myself, I asked him what he was eating. Through a mouthful of food, he said “nothing”.  Now 2 years ago I probably would have ‘called’ him on it and said something like “how can you honestly tell me you aren’t eating something when I see that your mouth is full”. Most likely I wouldn’t have let it go until he admitted I was right, or I became so frustrated that I would say something I would regret later. But now I ask myself…why does it matter that I need to be right? Will that add to the quality of our life?

 I believe that Dave answered as honestly as he is capable of. End of story. Once again I learned how much easier it is to ‘flow’ with life rather than resist it. This is one of the biggest gifts of living with dementia. Learning to let go of the smaller stuff and focus on what is really important—living in the present moment with a husband who does his very best with the abilities he has.

© 2010 Holly Eburne