Everyone Needs a Little Lovin’

  It is 4:45 a.m., my absolute favorite time of the day. I am sitting with my tea, a book and a little ‘ginger boy’ named Clive snuggling (and purring) on my chest. Two months ago this skinny 5-month old kitten showed up on our daughter, Amy’s doorstep looking for affection.  She said he was more interested in staying in her arms than eating food. As it has turned out, we adopted him from Amy. We thought Clive needed a buddy so we rescued another little guy, Henry from a shelter.... 

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Turning Down the Effort Knob…AGAIN!

It doesn’t matter how many times I turn down my ‘Effort Knob’, life has a funny way of sneaking up and making it seem difficult. This past week I had one of life’s many lessons in dealing with my husband Dave. He has Frontotemporal dementia and as it progresses, he is less motivated to do any activities outside of his jigsaw puzzles or exercise. I’m glad that he is still capable of doing these activities but the reality is that I need help to maintain a house, garden, pets, and car while... 

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The ‘D’ Word

Everywhere in the news there are stories about the rising incident of the dreaded “D” disease. It seems there is more mass panic over developing Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia than developing cancer. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, the doctor will usually have a plan for the patient. There is treatment, hope for remission, and guidelines on what to do. But being diagnosed with dementia is different. When we left the doctor’s office 5 years ago after my husband,... 

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The Dance

There is a beautiful song written by Garth Brooks titled the Dance. The first time I read part of the lyrics was in an obituary in 1988. A young friend of my son was in a tragic horse accident and her father wrote…”how could I have known you’d ever say goodbye. And now I’m glad I didn’t know the way it all would end the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain But I’d of had to miss the dance Holding you”. Every time I experience pain or... 

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Loneliness and Caregiving

I wrote this blog on caregiving.com and I wanted to share my message on my website as well… Dr. Cacioppo wrote a book called Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. He says that humans need a deep connection with the people around us and, without it, there is a higher risk for chronic disease and early death. There was a study in 2007 at the Rush Alzheimer’s Disease Center that showed that lonely people were twice as likely to get Alzheimer’s disease late in life.... 

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Loving What You Do Today

Have you ever thought about what you would be doing if you had 6 months to live? I love this question because it makes me stop and think about my life and ask…am I doing what I love to do today? I was reading an article the other day about a study with people who have terminal cancer and are given 6 months to live. Do you know why a significant number of them go into remission? Because for the first time in their life they ‘let go’ of pleasing other people. They aren’t concerned what... 

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If You Have a Lemon, Make a Lemonade

Sometimes when I read a personal growth book I like to open it at a random page to see my ‘message of the day’. Last night I started reading Dale Carnegie’s book—‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’ and the chapter was titled…’if you have a lemon, make a lemonade’. It is a story about a woman, Thelma, who moves with her husband to a military training center in the middle of the Mojave Desert, California. She lives in a one-room shack in the unbearable heat–125 degrees in... 

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Dealing With Sadness in Caregiving

Once a month I’m a guest on Denise Brown’s radio show on caregiving.com. She comes up with interesting topics and this month it was Sadness in Caregiving. Before the show airs, I like to do some prep work but I was having difficulty with this one. Why? Because by default, I run away from the feeling of sadness. I grew up in a family where we were reprimanded for crying. I didn’t want people to think that I was weak and couldn’t  handle what life was giving me. I was also... 

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Ticket to Freedom In The World of Dementia

When my husband, Dave, was initially diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia 4 years ago, I wondered if I would ever feel free again. Last December Dave must have wondered the same thing when he handed in his driver’s license. His truck, and the privilege of driving, was his ticket to freedom. Or so I thought. [Read The Full Article]  Read More →

Pollyanna?

Last week I had an interesting interview with a National magazine reporter, Janet, about caregiving. She wanted to find a baby boomer caregiver who loves what they do. After answering questions on how my life (and our family) has changed and what’s so good about it, she made a comment that I have wondered a few times myself. She said she has heard these type of comments before and wondered whether people will think I am being a Pollyanna. I told her that I have questioned myself when friends ask... 

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