Turning Down the Effort Knob…AGAIN!

It doesn’t matter how many times I turn down my ‘Effort Knob’, life has a funny way of sneaking up and making it seem difficult. This past week I had one of life’s many lessons in dealing with my husband Dave. He has Frontotemporal dementia and as it progresses, he is less motivated to do any activities outside of his jigsaw puzzles or exercise. I’m glad that he is still capable of doing these activities but the reality is that I need help to maintain a house, garden, pets, and car while... 

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Learning to ‘flow’ with my husband’s dementia

Last month I was reading an article by Bob DeMarco about his experiences of caring for his mother with Alzheimer’s. He said that when you learn to step into the world of dementia, life flows easier. I couldn’t agree more. For the first couple of years after my husband, Dave was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) I tried controlling what Dave wore, his table manners, what he said, and more. For example, we were going to a wedding and Dave was standing at the door, looking very... 

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Changing my thoughts & beliefs about Caregiving

In Kody Bateman’s book ‘Promptings–your Inner Guide to Making a Difference’ he tells us a story about his black lab Gus, who loves to retrieve balls but doesn’t like to give it up. The only way he can coax Gus to give up his dirty, slobbery ball is to throw several new ones. He said the grimy balls are like our limiting beliefs that we hang on to for years. According to the teachings of Abraham, a belief is only a thought we keep thinking–or saying over and over... 

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Dementia Caregiver’s Choice

I like routines-predictable and comfortable. Since my husband, Dave, was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia 3 ½ years ago, my life has been anything but routine. The brain is our most complex organ, making it difficult for scientists to predict the exact progression of brain diseases, like Alzheimer’s & related dementias. It took 2 years to realize that dementia is out of my control. The only thing I can control is how I am living with it. I have a choice. I can continue being sad... 

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Need Driving Tests Specifically for People with Dementia

This morning I read an article/blog (http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/dementia-sufferers-need-new-driving-test-20100420-srtr.html) from Brisbane Australia about the need for driving tests specifically for people with dementia. I agree. My husband, Dave, is 60 years old and had his driver’s license taken away last December. Three years ago when Dave was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia (FTD), the specialist told me that it was up to me to decide when he wasn’t safe enough to drive... 

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Living with Dementia is Teaching me to Let Go of the Smaller Stuff

Hoarding and overeating are some of the features of Frontotemporal dementia. My husband, Dave, was diagnosed 3 years ago and so far they haven’t been too much of a problem. There is no denying that his sweet tooth has come alive with his dementia, but he shows remarkable discipline. After lunch and dinner he loves to eat 2 Dad’s chocolate chip cookies. Not 3 cookies–even if there are 3 left in the bag. I am sure I would not leave a lonely cookie in the bag when I can’t even leave frozen... 

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Faith: a 2 legged dog has a different perspective on life

It is Christmas time and there are lots of great stories I could write about, but the one I received this morning from my daughter had the biggest message of all… There was a puppy born on Christmas Eve, 2002, with 2 legs. His mother, the breeder and his first owner didn’t think he would ever walk and thought he should be put down. But along came Jude Stringfellow, a teacher, and someone who had the belief that this pup would walk some day. She named him Faith. Through coaxing and... 

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Living with Dementia–The Magic of a Ginger Cat with White Boots

I am amazed at how quickly a stray, ginger cat with white boots–purring on my lap– can lift my mood. It hasn’t been an easy 2 weeks since my husband, Dave, received a medical driver’s form to be filled in within 45 days–or he loses his license. There is a .001% chance he will be allowed to continue driving. 3 years ago Dave was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia and the specialist warned us this day would come. Dave has a remarkable attitude toward his dementia. He hasn’t... 

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What about the Children of Families with Dementia?

When I started writing my blogs and articles a few months ago, I did it because I couldn’t ignore my inner voice. A voice telling me to share what I am learning as I journey along this road with my husband and his dementia. I am surprised at the impact writing has had on my life. Besides releasing deeply buried emotions, it is giving me clarity about the road ahead. It is giving me a purpose to this time in my life. But one of my greatest joys and surprises has been connecting with the children... 

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Dementia is a Journey of ‘Letting Go’

I was watching a DVD this morning and Hale Dwoskin, who teaches the Sedona Method on releasing unwanted emotions, said something which really resonated with me. He believes that children are here on earth not to learn, but to teach. If you stop for a minute and think about how children live their lives…they can throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store and belly laugh the next. They can be upset and throw toys at their playmates, but within minutes are back playing without... 

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