Magic Moments

Living as a carer for my husband, Dave with dementia (frontotemporal dementia) is a challenging and life changing experience. There have been times (too numerous to count) when I have wanted to hand the job over to someone else. This isn’t what I had planned for the years when our kids left home and we were still young enough to travel, hike and bike wherever. But this is what life is handing us and I finally figured out that I can’t fight it and I had better learn to accept it. This... 

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Finding Humour in Dementia

Living with dementia (my husband, Dave, has frontotemporal dementia) can be challenging, but at the same time a great teacher. The other day Dave and I are sitting under a giant ponderosa pine tree, enjoying the sights and sounds of the birds around our pond. Since Dave’s dementia affects his language skills, he doesn’t talk very much and when he does, he likes to start a conversation with a question; then more questions. This time he is asking me about our springer spaniels… ... 

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Changing my thoughts & beliefs about Caregiving

In Kody Bateman’s book ‘Promptings–your Inner Guide to Making a Difference’ he tells us a story about his black lab Gus, who loves to retrieve balls but doesn’t like to give it up. The only way he can coax Gus to give up his dirty, slobbery ball is to throw several new ones. He said the grimy balls are like our limiting beliefs that we hang on to for years. According to the teachings of Abraham, a belief is only a thought we keep thinking–or saying over and over... 

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‘Letting Go’ of Fear Eases Caregiving

When my husband, Dave was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) 3  1/2  years ago, I was terrified. I didn’t know how we were going to manage with a disease more dreaded than cancer. With cancer, there is hope of a cure or remission. With dementia there isn’t any.Bestselling author Byron Katie says…” there is no greater illusion than fear. It’s caused by believing what you think. It’s always a story of a future, projected from our past.” Living with... 

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Changing Perspective is Key to Easier Living with Dementia

Life over the past 3 ½ years has been a time of massive personal growth. I never imagined that my husband, Dave, would be diagnosed with a form of dementia (Frontotemporal) at the young age of 57. I also never imagined that my life would be richer because of this diagnosis. There is no denying there are difficult times, or that there are moments when I don’t think I can handle one more change, one more responsibility. But I am finding it easier to move through those periods simply by changing... 

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Dementia Caregiver’s Choice

I like routines-predictable and comfortable. Since my husband, Dave, was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia 3 ½ years ago, my life has been anything but routine. The brain is our most complex organ, making it difficult for scientists to predict the exact progression of brain diseases, like Alzheimer’s & related dementias. It took 2 years to realize that dementia is out of my control. The only thing I can control is how I am living with it. I have a choice. I can continue being sad... 

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Need Driving Tests Specifically for People with Dementia

This morning I read an article/blog (http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/dementia-sufferers-need-new-driving-test-20100420-srtr.html) from Brisbane Australia about the need for driving tests specifically for people with dementia. I agree. My husband, Dave, is 60 years old and had his driver’s license taken away last December. Three years ago when Dave was diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia (FTD), the specialist told me that it was up to me to decide when he wasn’t safe enough to drive... 

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My husband speaks about his life with his dementia

Three years ago the doctors put a label on my husband’s (Dave) changing personality, behavior and emotions. It explains why he doesn’t recognize his fellow teachers of 25 years; why he has trouble reading and speaking; why he is quieter and is withdrawing into his own world. It explains the seizures, hand tremors, loss of sense of humor (almost), and changing senses–hearing, taste, smell, touch.  Dave at age 57 was officially diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia. His attitude... 

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Daughters organizing walk for their Dad with Frontotemporal dementia

The incidence of Frontotemporal dementia (FTD)  is on the rise. It is often mistaken for a bipolar or depressive mental disorders because FTD begins affecting the front and side lobes of the brain–responsible for emotions, language and personality. Alzheimer’s usually begins in the back of the brain where memory centers are located. The average age of  a person with FTD is between 40-60 years which usually means they are working full-time, as well as their spouse. Often young children... 

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Living with Dementia is Teaching me to Let Go of the Smaller Stuff

Hoarding and overeating are some of the features of Frontotemporal dementia. My husband, Dave, was diagnosed 3 years ago and so far they haven’t been too much of a problem. There is no denying that his sweet tooth has come alive with his dementia, but he shows remarkable discipline. After lunch and dinner he loves to eat 2 Dad’s chocolate chip cookies. Not 3 cookies–even if there are 3 left in the bag. I am sure I would not leave a lonely cookie in the bag when I can’t even leave frozen... 

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