Stuck In My Story?

Earlier this week I watched Oprah’s First Lifeclass: Tour and there were so many aha’s I had to bring out my writing pad. Relationship expert, Iyanla Vanzant spoke about PAIN—not our physical pains but our emotional, mental and spiritual pain. Iyanla’s definition of pain = pay attention inward now. She said “having one story in your mind about yourself can trap you in a world of pain”. Yes, I know what that feels like because 3 years ago I found myself swirling around in a pool of massive... 

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Slowing Down and Really Smelling the Roses

This morning I sat at my computer and was browsing through my journal when I came across a note (and reminder) I had written on July 21, 2011… I went for a run along our country road and it was full of surprises. There is an abundance of wildlife in our area but it seemed more acute today. The list of birds is like opening the Audobon bird book. I saw a pair of western tanagers chasing each other, a group of cedar waxwings eating dogwood berries, juncos on the side of the road, yellow warblers... 

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Ticket to Freedom In The World of Dementia

When my husband, Dave, was initially diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia 4 years ago, I wondered if I would ever feel free again. Last December Dave must have wondered the same thing when he handed in his driver’s license. His truck, and the privilege of driving, was his ticket to freedom. Or so I thought. [Read The Full Article]  Read More →

Flowing with Dementia

I just came back from a run and had an interesting detour along the way. There is a creek along side our road and as I was passing a culvert (a steel tunnel which allows the creek to flow under the road) I noticed that the water was backing up. A few weeks ago, a beaver or human made a dam with twigs and branches creating a reservoir on one side of it. The water was stagnant and algae were blooming. On the other side of the culvert, the stream was a trickle. This scene reminded me of my first year... 

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Magic Moments

Living as a carer for my husband, Dave with dementia (frontotemporal dementia) is a challenging and life changing experience. There have been times (too numerous to count) when I have wanted to hand the job over to someone else. This isn’t what I had planned for the years when our kids left home and we were still young enough to travel, hike and bike wherever. But this is what life is handing us and I finally figured out that I can’t fight it and I had better learn to accept it. This... 

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News-fasting is Healthy

The other morning my mother-in-law phoned me at 6 am (she knows I like to get up at 4 am and read, meditate or write) to ask me how the wildfire was. What fire? She said…”the one in your part of town”. We live in the country among sage brush, miniature cacti and pine beetle (dead) trees so summer fires aren’t uncommon. Anyway, I looked outside and saw a bit of smoke but knew we weren’t in immediate risk of evacuation. We chatted some more, I thanked her and then checked... 

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Changing my thoughts & beliefs about Caregiving

In Kody Bateman’s book ‘Promptings–your Inner Guide to Making a Difference’ he tells us a story about his black lab Gus, who loves to retrieve balls but doesn’t like to give it up. The only way he can coax Gus to give up his dirty, slobbery ball is to throw several new ones. He said the grimy balls are like our limiting beliefs that we hang on to for years. According to the teachings of Abraham, a belief is only a thought we keep thinking–or saying over and over... 

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Living with Dementia is made Easier with Systems

Order, systems, routines–they are my saving grace as a caregiver for my husband, Dave who has Frontotemporal dementia (dx 3 1/2 years ago). I used to chuckle at Dave’s set routines–news at 7:40 & 8:00 am, cutting the lawn on Mondays, gym on Tuesdays & Thursdays, and now he has 2 types of jam for his toast that he alternates days. He may not remember to let the dogs out to pee but he doesn’t forget which jam he ate yesterday. Last year I hit a major turning point in... 

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